THE prime minister decided to break the bad news to Angela Rayner that her political career is over with a comforting steak bake.
Starmer softened the blow of Rayner’s sacking as deputy prime minister by presenting it alongside the piping-hot pastry comestible that is the currency of her people.
He said: “I was going to bring flowers, but I was concerned it would seem a romantic gesture from a lovelorn swain and I’m trying to work on my messaging.
“I asked around the cabinet for the kind of thing she might like, but would you believe practically all of them went to fee-paying schools and I’d never previously noticed?
“Anyway, one of the Spads spoke up and said he believes Greggs is quite the thing among Angela’s set, and there’s actually one just nearby in Westminster. We dispatched him to pick up something to placate her during this difficult time.
“I knocked on her door and said ‘Bad news I’m afraid, the high street conveyancing business you hired because you unaccountably don’t have any solicitors in the family has denied all knowledge. I’m afraid you have to resign. Steak bake? I’ve left it in the bag.’”
Rayner said: “Thanks. Anyone ever told you that you resemble one of their sausage rolls?”
