Friday, 3rd July 2020

Taxpayers back paint job for Johnson's plane as long as it's a cock

TAXPAYERS are happy to fund the paint job on Boris Johnson’s plane as long as it is a picture of a large cock and balls. 

Britons confirmed they would happily pay the estimated £900,000 cost and more if the prime minister was constantly associated with a massive penis.

Martin Bishop said: “These are difficult times and I think Boris travelling on a giant penis when he visits other world leaders would lift the spirit of the nation.

“A giant cock away in the clouds is the perfect way to represent both Boris Johnson and the UK government at the moment. And possibly the people who voted for them.”      

Donna Sheridan agreed: “It’s much more practical than a Union Jack. Whenever Boris lands for trade talks or EU negotiations, everyone will know what sort of person they’re dealing with.

“And of course hungry children, NHS workers and people who’ve lost their jobs have been crying out for Johnson to brighten up his plane so they’ll be over the moon.”