UKIP membership drive to include free golliwog

THE UK Independence Party has launched a membership drive offering a traditional British golliwog to anyone who joins by the end of May.

The ‘welcome pack’ also includes a multi-region DVD player or a ‘Parker-style’ pen.

UKIP leader Nigel Farage said: “The golliwog reminds us what we are fighting for. Plus, it’s very cheerful.

“Show everyone how mainstream your opinions are by strapping it to the bonnet of your car or nailing it to your front door.”

New member Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, said: “It shows that UKIP is a modern party that’s actually very relaxed about the issue of race.

“I’m going to post mine to Zimbabwe with £500 of relocation money.”

Meanwhile, Farage is this week campaigning in the local elections alongside a party volunteer in a full-size golliwog costume.

UKIP has set up stalls in high streets and shopping centres across southern England where members of the public can have their photo taken with Farage and his ‘mascot’.

The party leader also tours housing estates where he waits for voters to answer the door before pointing at the golliwog and shouting: “How can anyone find this offensive?”

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Dutch king launches novelty bong website

THE new King of the Netherlands is to launch a website selling bongs shaped like TV and film characters.

Willem-Alexander said the range will include Yoda, Fat Kirstie Alley and Monkey from the TV series Monkey.

He also announced that the website will donate 15% of its profits to a farm near Rotterdam where people can just chill out and eat loads of apples.

The new king succeeds his mother Queen Beatrix who has abdicated so she can devote more time to her tie-dye tent business.