I WENT walking around Handsworth in Birmingham the other week. And do you know what? Not one of its many residents made me more comfortable by ‘whiting up’.
It wouldn’t have taken much. Just a little gesture of friendliness to make me feel more at home in an unfamiliar area of the country. Foundation in Caucasian shades was available in the shops, I checked.
After all, it’s not like we didn’t do the same for them. In the 60s and 70s, when we had many new black faces on the streets but none were yet presentable enough for television, we whites made them feel represented and ‘seen’ by blacking up.
In the spirit of friendliness and brotherhood, we applied boot polish and sang traditional spirituals on The Black and White Minstrel Show on prime time BBC1. And if it were necessary we’d do the same today.
But when the tables are turned? I regret to say not one of the residents of Handsworth, who could see how discomfited their appearances made me, did the decent thing.
A little pancake make-up. Pinstriped suits or floral dresses. Speaking in stiff Home Counties accents about business, dog shows or the importance of private schooling. If they’d made that basic effort, I would have felt welcomed.
Sadly, they refused even when asked directly to do so. Which just about sums up the attitudes of minorities in Britain today. It’s their way or the highway, no matter if they outrage decency and force ordinary people to vote racist.
Well, if I ever become Tory leader – unlikely, as Kemi is doing such a masterly job – I will mandate whiteface. Not for everyone, just one in every two. Because an integrated Britain is a better Britain.
