Why not fine my baby too, you pig bastards? Why not criminalise my poor, poor baby?

The protesters are right: all coppers are bastards. And now, because the Met Police is institutionally misogynist, I’m a criminal.

This is a Mash Premium article, exclusively for subscribers. Sign up for Mash Premium to get ad-free browsing and bonus content.

Mash Premium gives you extra content and ad-free browsing. Subscribe to view this article.

The protesters are right: all coppers are bastards. And now, because the Met Police is institutionally misogynist, I’m a criminal.

How to cook the perfect romantic meal, with Colin the emotionally unstable chef

There’s no better way to impress a lady than a romantic meal for two. Unless they’re sadistically playing with your feelings like a cat toys with a mouse, before ripping your heart out like some evil succubus from Hell. 

This is a Mash Premium article, exclusively for subscribers. Sign up for Mash Premium to get ad-free browsing and bonus content.

Mash Premium gives you extra content and ad-free browsing. Subscribe to view this article.

There’s no better way to impress a lady than a romantic meal for two. Unless they’re sadistically playing with your feelings like a cat toys with a mouse, before ripping your heart out like some evil succubus from Hell. 

Sorry, this article is for Mash Premium members only
Subscribe Now or Sign In