CHELSEA cleaning staff are still hosing down their press room after Jose Mourinho met reporters yesterday.
Workers in hazmat suits with bags of wadded up tissue worked through the night, mopping at the journalist joy fluids that were in places ankle-deep.
Building manager Roy Hobbs said: It looks like a Stone Roses album cover in there.
This is the biggest clean-up operation weve had to do since Avram Grant left and the whole place had to be fumigated to remove the smell of hooker.
Englands football press had been maintaining a lazy half-lob since the first hints Mourinho might return to Chelsea, keeping themselves on a slow spin cycle by attending Paolo di Canio team talks.
When the Chelsea manager coined his new catchphrase, dubbing himself The Saucy One, the build up of Fleet Street reproductive juices was at such dangerous levels that several reporters had to file their copy from the toilets.
The perspex ‘sneeze guard’ borrowed from the Chelsea canteen salad bar to protect the incoming manager was so heavily soiled that it was several minutes before many realised he had left the room.
Journalist Wayne Hayes said: I’m exhausted and I badly need some Vitamin E pills. I haven’t looked this pale and wan since I was a teenager.”