Arsenal blames fatigue as season stretches into third game

ARSENAL’S poor performance against Besiktas has been blamed on the rigours of playing football for nearly a fortnight.

“Everyone has their limits”

The Gunners looked lethargic in their 0-0 draw in Turkey, with manager Arsene Wenger drawing attention to virtually non-stop football games his players have endured since August 10th.

Wenger said: “For ten whole days they’ve had to play or think about playing football. It’s a real achievement even to have made it as far as Istanbul, many of them barely slept on the plane.”

Arsenal captain Mikel Arteta added: “Remember, we had no rest from football over the summer. Many of the lads watched nearly all the World Cup games.

“These aren’t excuses, they’re reasons.”

Arsenal fan Stephen Malley said: “In other countries, their seasons are almost finished by now.

“It’s ridiculous that in England we don’t have a mid-season break between August and, let’s say, June.”

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Chris Martin’s dad a bit too keen on Jennifer Lawrence

THE father of Coldplay’s Chris Martin keeps asking when he’s going to bring his new girlfriend home.

65-year-old Roger Martin said: “I thought Jennifer Lawrence was very good in The Hunger Games, and she’s quite an attractive girl too.

“Very attractive, in fact.

“I mean I liked Gwyneth and she had lovely golden hair, but ‘up top’ she was like two raisins on a board. No offence.

“Jennifer seems much more chilled out. If she came to stay she would probably just spend the weekend in her bra and pants, leaning out of the window smoking and occasionally twisting her hair around her finger in a womanly way.

“I would be ok with that.”

He added: “Between you and me I think Chris is punching above his weight.”

However Chris Martin’s mum Mary Martin said that she thought Gwyneth was very nice indeed, and confirmed that she would always be a right bitch to Jennifer Lawrence.