John Terry’s ego humanely destroyed

JOHN Terry’s ego has been hauled out to sea to be broken up.

After being substituted during Chelsea’s 3-0 defeat to Man City, Terry verbally abused his ego, although he stopped short of using racial epithets.

Temporary Chelsea physio Stephen Malley said: “Shortly before Mr Mourinho fired me for wearing the wrong colour of disposable gloves, I could see John in the dressing room kicking his ego and demanding that it get up.

“He was screaming that without it he was just another bloke from Essex approaching middle age with a pathetic haircut.”

The ego was removed from the Etihad stadium by a team of disposal experts expected to work with Chelsea in the near future on Jose Mourinho’s ailing sense of self-worth.

It will be broken up fifteen miles out to sea to ensure no pieces wash up on shore and cause holidaymakers to think they can go around shouting at people in airports.