LEICESTER City striker Kevin Phillips was cheered wildly on his debut for One Direction’s reserves last night.
The veteran was brought on in the 67th minute to sing backing harmonies on a few album ballads but his contribution was drowned out by the screaming of middle-aged male Leicester fans.
Phillips said: “Singing heartfelt lyrics about chaste romance written by teams of Scandinavians has always been a key part of my game.
I actually had trials for Take That as a teenager, before the football took off, and Ive continued gazing into the camera while professing eternal devotion in my own time.
Sometimes, to entertain the lads, Id do a few uplifting ballads in the shower after the game, crooning them into a bar of soap.
Observers said the 40-year-old performed creditably but messed up a crucial step-forward at a key change, leaving the team struggling to present a united front while swearing their love would always be true.
Fan Nathan Muir, who tweets as @FutureMrPhillips, said: Pop concerts arent really my thing but Kevin was incredible.
Now if youll excuse me, I need to go home and finish my slash fiction about his torrid secret relationship with Paul Konchesky.