Man United to become MK Mancs

FOLLOWING the successful example of MK Dons, Manchester United is to set up in the same town under the name MK Mancs.

The 4-0 arse-spanking they suffered at the hands of the Dons has convinced United that this is the only way ahead for a traditional club in steep decline.

A club spokesman said: “A tiny minority of purists may whine but we must follow the successful model of the club formerly known as Wimbledon or die.

“Remember, the Mancs are a global brand. We belong to the world. And Milton Keynes is in the world, so I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”

However, Bill McKay of the MK Dons Supporters Club said: “Do things like heritage, tradition and community, mean nothing to MK Mancs? We’ve been established here for over 100 months.

“This is a slap in the face to authentic Milton Keynes Wimbledon football fans.”

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Ryanair 'business class' just ticket for different airline

RYANAIR has introduced ‘business class’ by selling tickets for proper airlines.

The budget carrier said its new level of service would include a free drink, landing within half a day’s drive of your chosen destination and being on a British Airways plane.

The company revealed that for a £70 fee it will register your interest and then let BA, Air France and Lufthansa know that you are on your way.

Plane traveller Martin Bishop said: “Finally I can combine Ryanair’s low prices with British Airways’ levels of service simply by paying significantly more money.”

A Ryanair spokesman added: “This means we now fly to more destinations than all of the other airlines that have ever existed.

“Celebratory trumpet noise.”