McClaren ‘surprised as everyone else’ to find himself back in football

STEVE McClaren has been unable to explain how he came to be managing a football club again.

McClaren was reappointed as Derby County boss yesterday, despite a track record that could be described politely as ‘mixed’.

The ex-England and Newcastle disappointment said: “I am delighted and baffled to be given another opportunity to show the people of Derby what I can do, and perhaps more pertinently, what I can’t.

“I sent in the same application as in 2013, which conveniently left out my first spell at Derby County.

“They asked about the three-year CV gap and I explained I’d been at a Dutch language school in Utrecht, which seemed to satisfy them.”

McClaren said that he hoped to steer Derby towards promotion before leaving for a bigger club, ballsing it up, and returning to Pride Park in 2019.

Rams fan Nikki Sheridan said: “As the old saying goes, better the devil you know than Neil Warnock.”