Monday, 19th April 2021

Men getting ready to pretend they understand rugby

MEN across Britain are training hard so as not to appear totally baffled by the Six Nations tournament. 

With kick off apparently later on today, experts said phrases such as ‘they were never binding properly, there’ will be vital to concealing rugby ignorance.

Pretend rugby expert Tom Booker said his reputation was based on confident use of phrases such as ‘When are they going to put an end to this truck and trailer fiasco?’

He added: “If I say, ‘Bloody coming in from the side again’ every so often the big blokes at the bar will look at me and nod.”

Roy Hobbs added:  “I haven’t had enough time to develop a completely fake grasp of rugby, so I’d advise beginners to just learn one phrase, probably, ‘Surely he was off his feet when he handled then?’.

“I’ll use it randomly six times during every match.”