South Sudan beats Scotland 4-1
THE world’s newest nation celebrated its birth last night with a 4-1 victory over Scotland.
The match was staged just hours after referendum results confirmed South Sudan’s status as the latest country to be able take apart the Scottish back four with a series of textbook passing moves.
The new nation’s provisional government staged the event insisting a football match against Scotland would give the fledgling state a vital confidence boost.
The hastily formed South Sudanese Football Association then spent more than an hour finding out what football was before assembling a squad of seven players, five of whom had a full set of feet.
An SSFA spokesman said: “We were slightly disappointed in the scoreline and we need to do more to convert our chances. A 4-1 victory over Scotland should not give our next opponents a false sense of security.”
Scotland coach Craig Levein said: “There are no minnows in world football anymore, particularly the ones that are only 15 minutes old and think a football may be some sort of landmine.”
He added: “That said, there were some solid performances out there tonight and we did score a very good goal.”
Football historians say the result will stand alongside some of the greatest Scottish defeats including those to countries that don’t even exist such as Ruritania, Lilliput and the People’s Republic of Marzipanistan.