WOMEN are officially much better than men, the Euro 22 final has proved.
By beating Germany in a major final, England’s female footballers have settled once and for all the question of which sex is superior because it is without doubt the women.
Nathan Muir of Northampton said: “We had a good run. Pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes, claiming to be good at stuff, all that. But it’s over now.
“Once a team of women cruises to the final of the Euros, putting eight past Norway and four past Sweden and then does Germany over to lift the trophy, then there’s no hiding it. Men are a load of shit.
“Football’s the ultimate yardstick, surely? There’s no more accurate indicator of quality than the beautiful game. And the blokes f**ked up their penalties and the Lionesses didn’t even need them. Case closed.
“I’ve apologised to the wife, I’ve accepted my place as society’s underdog, and I’ve fired off an email to the boss demanding I and all other male employees be paid 7.9 per cent less than the women, backdated to the start of the tournament.
“Sorry girls. We’re such a bunch of arrogant dicks that we fooled ourselves into thinking we were better. Thanks for showing us how wrong we were.”