13-year-old grounded for creating Love Island

THE 13-year-old who created ITV2’s Love Island has been grounded indefinitely by his parents.

Nathan Muir was caught out after his parents saw his name on the end credits of the popular sex-based television series.

His father Tom Muir said: “We went to his room and just asked him outright if he had came up with the format for the show and at first he denied it. But who wouldn’t?”

He added: “He was grounded for a whole month after we found out he was a creative consultant for Naked Attraction, but it obviously wasn’t long enough.”

Nathan Muir said: “I’ve still got to have next Tuesday off school to record the pilot for a new show I’ve created called Shagging Igloo.

“At first dad said no way, but when I said he could be in it he soon changed his tune. He can’t though, he’s old and vile.”

He added: “Is it normal for 13-year-olds to hate themselves?”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

This World Cup has nothing on 1954, say football hipsters

FOOTBALL hipsters have insisted the current World Cup is ‘vastly inferior’ to Switzerland ’’54.

Wayne Hayes, a self-described ‘enganche’ enthusiast, said: “”Anyone who compares any of these matches to the ‘Miracle of Berne’ is frankly delusional.

“1954 had everything: a goal-per-game average of 5.38, the Magical Magyars, and a cutting-edge, Bauhaus-meets-Mondrian logo.””

Hayes added that the current playing arenas were a pale imitation of 1954’s Wankdorf Stadium, and that ‘Lionel Messi et al were no’t fit to lace Sandor Kocsis’ boots’.

Football blogger Joseph Turner disagreed with his analysis, however, saying that while Switzerland ‘’54 may have had loads of goals, goals were overrated.

Turner said: “”The World Cup had gone mainstream by the fifties. I argue on my site BielsaIsGod.com that Italia ’34 was Italia ’90 without the branding.”