A BOY who had his heart set on getting dry markers and ugly paints for Christmas is amazed to find them under the Christmas tree.
Eight-year-old Oliver O’Connor is feeling like the luckiest boy in the world after Santa Claus brought him the cheap and nasty art supplies from The Works that he coveted more than anything else.
He said: “I’m ecstatic. The awful waxy crayons that don’t blend, the flimsy canvas boards that don’t hold paint, they’re all here.
“When I saw them wrapped up under the tree I was worried I’d be getting something cool and fun like a remote control car or a PS5. I guess my family picked up on my hints for supplies that will crush my passion for creativity after all. Thanks, aunties!
“Altogether these brushes and pencils must’ve cost the best part of a tenner, so you bet I’m grateful. It must hurt mum and dad, who’ve tried to get me presents that will be of genuine use, but that’s a them problem.
“I can’t wait to try them all out, realise their many shortcomings, then take my disappointment with the quality of the materials and my own creative shortcomings out on them before an angry, resentful Christmas dinner. God bless us, every one!”
O’Connor’s aunt Mary said: “I had to trample over hordes of other people scrabbling to buy other crap who were largely indifferent to this shit. But it was worth it to see the joy on Oliver’s little face. I can’t be there, I’m in Sri Lanka, but regardless.”
