Men stay up all night to watch twat drive car

BRITAIN’S pathetically excited dads stayed up all night so they could watch Jeremy Clarkson drive a car.

Millions of fathers across Britain put on their best pair of jeans and stayed up past midnight, further eroding any respect they may have had from their partners and children.

Nikki Hollis, 17, from Stevenage, said her father Peter was emitting ‘childish whoops of glee’, adding: “At 3am he woke me up because he wanted to watch it on the big screen but couldn’t work out the Fire stick.

“He kept saying ‘The boys have still got it,’ while shaking his head in admiration, and asked if I wanted to watch the opening sequence which was ‘like something from Mad Max’.”

She continued: “At half-five I heard him on the phone to one of his mates marvelling at the budget, and when I came down for breakfast he was watching them reviewing a Ferrari for the fourth time.

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

Peter Hollis said: “I’m just so relieved that I like it. I don’t really have anything else to live for.”