Flexitarian diet perfect for people who like meat and total bollocks

THE flexitarian diet is perfect for people who love both meat and a load of bollocks, it has been claimed.

The plant-based diet has faced criticism for being completely meaningless for allowing you to also eat meat, but dietician Nikki Hollis believes it is the perfect choice for some.

She said: “The only part of the diet that can be hard to swallow is the complete and utter bollocks, but flexitarians are okay with that.

“If you’re concerned about getting all the nutrients you need on a flexitarian diet, don’t worry because you’re basically going to be eating the same things you were before.”

Professor Henry Brubaker from the Institute for Studies ascribes the rise in popularity of flexitarianism to people pretending to be worried about global warming.

He said: “It’s like saying you’re worried about the carbon impact of air travel, so you’ve decided to limit flying to just holidays and work.

“It’s brilliant, just brilliant.”