A MAN is considering teaching striking doctors the error of their ways by dying in the next five days, he has announced.
Roy Hobbs is planning to express his outrage over highly-skilled doctors going on strike in order to secure fair pay for their services by dying from a non-urgent medical complaint.
Hobbs said: “Doctors think they’re better than the rest of us because they know how to stop people dying which we don’t. Keeling over out of pettiness will wipe the smirks off their smug faces.
“It’ll take a lot of effort to perish from a persistent earache or a minor burn, but unlike health service slackers I don’t give up so easily. I expect my pathetic martyrdom will be a useful lesson to them about the benefits of hard graft.
“If doctors wanted to earn a decent wage they shouldn’t have wasted their time swotting up on medical textbooks and taking exams that will literally help them to save people’s lives. Everyone knows the selfless, honourable trade of YouTube reaction videos is where the big bucks are.”
Resident doctor Martin Bishop said: “Roy’s admirable self-sacrifice has got me questioning all of my oaths. I’m actually really interested to see how a knobhead could die from a sprained wrist.”
