A 20-YEAR-OLD taking a gap year to find who he really is has inconveniently done so in a service station on the way to the airport.
Tom Booker’s plan to travel the world immersing himself in the philosophy and culture of exotic, and coincidentally cheap and sunny, countries was derailed when he suffered a sudden epiphany in a Burger King overlooking the M1.
He said: “I was expecting to find enlightenment on Ayahuasca in the Peruvian jungle or meditating with monks or whatever. Not staring at a promotional poster for Toy Story 5 Whopper Meals.
“But I realised that who I am, deep down, is an uninteresting British man who even at Angkor Wat would wish he was on his phone, and I came to peace with that.
“I told my dad I was cancelling my ticket and spending the year in my room instead and he must have had the same epiphany as me, given the deep, heavy sigh of happiness he let out.”
Booker plans to spend 12 months on the sofa eating chips, which being in a yurt dodging dengue fever and shitting into a bucket would have made impossible, and will spend the money saved on buying a really big television and noise-cancelling headphones.
Booker said: “The Buddha spent decades searching for nirvana but I realised I want to do sod all with my life in less time than it takes to watch an Avengers film, so who’s the idiot?”
