AN intense eight-year-old has spent an entire weekend herding sheep in preparation for his role in today’s nativity play.
Jack Browne has followed in the footsteps of Daniel Day-Lewis by learning his trade and remaining in character as Third Shepherd even when not rehearsing so he can bring a grounded realism to the part.
Teacher Mrs Shaw said: “Jack’s dedication was impressive at first. Nobody expected such an authentic portrayal of a nameless background character milling around with a tea towel on his head. He only has one line.
“It only got weird when he brought a sheep into school and spent all lunch roaming the playing fields with a crook, running soil through his hands and muttering about grazing conditions.
“Lessons became impossible because he’d feign astonishment at the iPads, or the ‘cursed distraction slate’ as he refers to it, and also saying it was not for one of his station to learn to count. This was when he still spoke English.”
Mother Anne Browne said: “Jack’s thrown himself into this. He sleeps in a tent, he hasn’t bathed in a month, he eats only foraged nuts. The usurpers who took the First and Second Shepherd roles should be ashamed of themselves.”
Browne said, in Aramaic: “Hark, the winter sun is dim and low. I must tend to my flock from the sanctuary of Burger King.”
