ANYTHING bad that happens to you while on board a yacht is your own fault, Britain has agreed.
After a pair of retirees on a yacht in the English channel was fired upon by a Russian warship, the UK has confirmed even if they had been hit and sunk they would deserve no sympathy because of their yacht-bound situation.
Helen Archer of Stevenage said: “Ooh, ’we’re blameless! We were just sailing our boat that cost more than your flat near a Russian warship, and it shot at us!’ Bloody boomers.
“Once you climb aboard your special little seafaring vessel, probably called Windriding Winnie or some shit, and leave the mainland it’s officially your problem. Don’t come running to us if there’s a typhoon or whatever. You made your choice.
“From being captured by Somalian pirates to sucking off Leonardo DiCaprio, you knew the risks when you boarded the yacht and you did it anyway. Didn’t happen to me, did it? Because I’m not on a yacht.”
A spokesman for the Royal Yachting Association said: “Our member are, of course, superior to mere landlubbers and spend the majority of their time at sea sneering at them. But it does not follow we bear any responsibility when clocked in the head by a boom.
“Also, please note the Royal in our name. Other associations don’t have that.”
