THE government has confirmed that now an empty plane has left the UK we have room for one empty plane to be allowed in. 

In accordance with its one in, one out deportation policy, the government has opened the country’s borders to a plane containing no migrants which will stay in a hangar at Heathrow until it is inevitably hounded out.

A Home Office spokesperson said: “Getting rid of Air France Flight 1681 opens up the opportunity for a passengerless commercial aircraft to come here and start a new life.

“The program was intended to deport rejected asylum seekers, obviously, but they’ve proved reluctant to leave so we’re running it planes-only for the moment. Much more visual.

“So yes, we’ve got rid of this unwanted Air France flight and are welcoming a second plane which will integrate well, speak the King’s English and make a positive contribution to our economy into Britain.

“How is this better than the previous government’s Rwanda policy? Well, the empty planes don’t have to go as far.”

Reform voter and convicted sex offender Wayne Hayes said: “I can’t get a job as a primary school teacher. The yet-to-arrive empty plane is clearly to blame.”