A MAN has managed to secure a girlfriend at least four levels hotter than he is by wooing a foreign woman unable to recognise his knobhead qualities.
Jordan Gardner, aged 24, who is a six at best, has been assiduously working the overseas student market until finding a gorgeous French ten blind to the traits which make him undesirable because of her nationality.
He said: “My gawkiness, lack of charisma, inability to make ordinary conversation? To her they’re the hallmarks of a typical English gentleman.
“Like buying currency at the airport, she’s no idea how badly she’s getting ripped off. Everything that causes girls of my own nationality to avoid me, she’s explained away as a cute little quirk. It’s great.
“I got the idea from my uncle, an irritating twat of a man who nonetheless has a gorgeous Greek wife who dotes on him. I realised I too could take advantage of the gulf between nations and score myself a serious upgrade.
“Hélène believes this is a meeting between equals. All I have to do is put up with her weird sense of fashion and crap subtitled films and I’m punching for life.”
Hélène Archère said: “C’est un geek et un ringard? Oh non! Quel dommage.”
