A MAN has decided sex will be more pleasurable and meaningful if he stares into his partner’s eyes throughout it.
Stephen Malley got the idea from an article on body language he skim-read at the dentist, which informed him that prolonged eye contact is a sign that two people are connecting in a deep, genuine way.
He said: “It started off fine, with Nikki looking back at me affectionately. Even so, it was really difficult to concentrate on shagging and glaring at the same time.
“Then she stared to look slightly uncomfortable, and as sex went on she kept closing her eyes, so I had to keep saying ‘Look at me!’. I’m not sure that added to her enjoyment. The fact that I’m short-sighted and had to keep my glasses on didn’t help.
“She still kept closing her eyes though, so eventually I had to gently prise her eyelids open with my fingers. For some reason this freaked her out and she didn’t want sex anymore.
“I suppose she just wasn’t ready for the physical and emotional intensity of my new lovemaking technique. I’ll try staring harder tonight.”
Partner Nikki Hollis said: “It’s good that Steve wants a deep connection, but I would say to guys that sex is nicer if you don’t feel you’re with a serial killer or having an eye test.”
