A FORMER resident of Dubai who is now back in Britain doing badly is the toast of his friendship group, they have confirmed.
40-year-old Martin Bishop’s social media posts were once about infinity pools on rooftops, £14 cappuchinos sprinkled with gold leaf and BMW interiors but are now about shitty weather and unexpected taxes, delighting all his acquaintances.
Friend Tom Logan said: “I can’t wait until I next see Martin. Apparently he struggles to afford a Lime bike.
“At the welcome home dinner he turned up drenched, mumbling that he got rid of his umbrellas when he moved to ‘DXB’. I took a photo which I look at and laugh.
“He then explained he was 25 minutes late because of the trains, adding ‘back in Dar Al-Hay, this never happened due to the Sheikh’s high investment in transport’ and began telling us about a helicopter ride he was on, then trailed off.
“Later he compared his former apartment overlooking the Burj Khalifa to his mum’s box room, where he’s currently living, because it has a view of the park. The filet mignon he tried to have Deliverooed there got nicked, because of course it did.”
He added: “I caught him showing off pics of his skydiving to the barmaid and loudly said ‘but that’s all in the past now, isn’t it, mate?’ The look on his face made up for when he showed me his first Dubai pay slip.”
