HARRIET Harman and the Daily Mail are two sides of the same unbearable coin, experts have confirmed.
Labour’s awful deputy leader is locked in a vicious paedo-smear battle with the insane newspaper which, according to millions of dreams, could destroy both of them utterly.
But experts described the conflict as ‘fascinating’ because both organisms share the same brain.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “They have separate corners of the brain where they ferment their stupid opinions but, like a bunch of bastard Shoreditch hipsters, they share a ‘hot desk’ and use the same hectoring photocopier.
“In terms of who’s right or wrong, at this stage it’s best to assume they’re both wrong. But be in no doubt, this is a battle for the soul of idiot Britain.”
Professor Brubaker stressed that people should feel no obligation to choose between the two as that could ‘drag this shit out for another couple of days’.
He added: “It’s BBC1 v ITV. It’s Hitler v Stalin. It’s Piers Morgan v Jeremy Clarkson.
“It’s not a choice. It’s a curse.”