UNIVERSITY leavers who claim to be smart all look incredibly dumb as they swish through cities in their ridiculous twat’s gowns.
Academics who have spent three years reading dense books and passing difficult exams are flaunting their apparent intelligence by parading through city centres in robes and mortarboards that make them look like complete morons.
Onlooker Wayne Hayes said: “They could just as easily pick up their degrees in jeans and a T-shirt. If they don’t realise that they must be thick as shit.
“I’m no intellectual, but £50 to rent a garment that guarantees you look a knobhead when you’re already 50 grand in debt seems like a foolish move. I’d understand if they looked sharp and celebrated something useful like getting your forklift licence.
“But what do I know? I’m just an ordinary guy who got his City & Guilds plumbing qualification via email while watching Pointless in my underwear. Perhaps it’d make sense if I were earning far less and had to make loan repayments for the next 30 years.
“And my brother’s a brickie and he says no way could you mix mortar on one of them boards.”
Graduate James Bates said: “This is the proudest and most humiliating day of my life. I’m so glad it’ll be captured in a photo that will stay on my parent’s mantlepiece forever.”
