THE men who cut down the Sycamore Gap tree have been cornered by a copse of menacing oaks in the prison showers hissing ‘Where’s your chainsaw now?’
Daniel Graham and Adam Carruthers were naked and terrified when the trees, believed to be members of the feared prison gang the Arboreal Nation, advanced upon them with their whippiest branches raised.
Mature oak Steve Malley, serving a six-year stretch for deliberately shedding a limb onto a police car, said: “Not so tough now, are you? Not so f**king tough now?
“Yeah, that sycamore may have been a stuck-up bastard overly proud of his position but at root he was a deciduous native just like us. And you bastards murdered him.
“Maybe you didn’t know how we feel about chainsaws. About sneaky twats who arrive in the dead of night to cut themselves a wedge of a 125-year-old and high-five themselves for doing it. Well, you’re about to find out.
“It’s payback time. Hold them down, boys. Going to fill your bitch asses with acorns like it’s autumn and I’m a motherf**king squirrel.”
Prison officer Bill McKay said: “Hear anything? I can’t hear anything.”
