Telling people you take Viagra now less awkward than saying you voted for Brexit

IT IS now less embarrassing to tell people you take Viagra than to say you voted for Brexit, according to a new study.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that men saying they voted for Brexit and believe it’s going well created more social awkwardness than those confessing they take blue pills to ‘help with the tired little soldier’.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “First, the men chatted about the weather and the football and of course, real ale.

“And then, one of them dropped in that he had been taking Viagra for a long time now which lead to a short awkward silence followed by some nervous laughter.

“Then, minutes later, the same man also announced that he had voted to leave the EU and felt it was all a huge success.

“This lead to a much more prolonged period of awkward silence and absolutely no laughter. Shortly after the host said ‘I’ll get everyone’s coats’.”

Leave voter and erectile problem sufferer Martin Bishop added: “Now I get ‘the soldier ready for parade’ by watching political situations descend into a shambolic mess, so I don’t even need the little blue guys any more.”

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Vengeful toddler gets father into boring dad chat

A DISGRUNTLED toddler has drawn his father into a conversation with another dad just to watch him writhe in awkwardness.  

Two-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “I’ve become pretty savvy to my dad’s zero effort parenting. He literally drops me in the sand pit then he’s straight on the iPhone.

“He gets the internet, I get a bucket. Well not today mate.

“I saw this other dad who was just itching for chat but too socially awkward to get it going. I then ran off with his kid’s spade, sat back and watched the magic happen.

“Every time he tried to get back to his phone the other dad had more chat on bullshit like nap routines and low sugar breakfast options.

“The highlight was seeing him questioned on gender fluidity. He was really out at sea there; I loved every horrible minute of it.”   

Hobbs added: “I’ve done everything I can do with sand, I need more.”