THE August bank holiday is world-renowned for its epic traffic jams. How are you seizing the opportunity to savour them?
Martin Bishop, salvage diver: “Ah, Taunton to Penzance at 10mph, the kids expiring of heat and boredom in the back, my marriage breaking down in the front, all to the cosy soundtrack of Radio 2. Then we turn around and do it all again.”
Roy Hobbs, picture framer: “As a keen kerb-crawler, I’m inching around the entire M25 pretending it’s my own personal red light district and a big booty ho is just 250 yards further away.”
Helen Archer, fire safety officer: “I’m more of a rail delay deviant, so I’ve booked a cancelled CrossCountry train with a rail replacement bus up the M1. Best of both worlds!”
Hannah Tomlinson, watercolourist: “We’re cycling as a family on a route which crosses the M6 22 times, so frustrated drivers will grow to recognise our smugness. Our picnic at junction 18 should tip them over the edge.”
Nathan Muir, bookmaker: “What? With my cock out. How else would I enjoy it?”
