ATTENDING an online seminar is a fantastic opportunity to get stuff done while some arsehole is droning on about bullshit, research has found.
The Institute of Studies found that online presentations, without any need for attendees to participate or turn cameras and microphones, are incredibly productive in the sense of getting the washing hung out, the dog brushed and the grouting deep-cleaning.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “It is a basic human urge to f**k about doing stuff when someone is talking, especially if they’re talking about work.
“A webinar? Our research shows that this time, when an employee is least engaged in work, is often their most productive hour of the day.
“Not for employers, no, but in terms of folding washing, trimming nosehair and applying beauty treatments, it’s really getting tasks ticked off. And over half those surveyed found they still had a rudimentary, one-line understanding of what the webinar was about.”
Hybrid worker Joshua Hudson said added: “I did all the paperwork for my recent house move during a webinar about data-centred analysis of retail park footfall in the West Midlands. It’s saved me hours I can now spend drinking alone.
“If they ever make me have my camera on, I’m leaving the company.”
Webinar host Oliver O’Connor said: “I know nobody’s listening. I pop on a recording of myself back from when I still had hope and get on with weeding the garden.”
