RACHEL Reeves has decided that a programme of massive tax rises is the best way to distract Britain from her renting a home without a licence.
The chancellor has diverted attention from last week’s scandal by announcing coming taxation increases which will affect every family in Britain, breaking Labour’s manifesto promises and dominating headlines for months to come.
She said: “Look what nobody’s talking about all of a sudden. And people say we’re bad at politics.
“Pop a penny on income tax – not that I’ve said what taxes are going up, I thought I’d let that be a fun little game – and they’ll still be talking about it at the next election when this rental business is long forgotten.
“Tomorrow morning this will be all over the front pages and that other business? Nowhere to be seen. They’ll remember me as the chancellor who raised taxes in the middle of a growth and cost-of-living crisis, and that won’t even be a footnote.”
Nathan Muir of Hitchin said: “Political genius. From now on, the rental scandal is me not being able to afford my rent.
“Oh, and I know we’re meant to be all ‘don’t raise taxes on pensioners, keep the triple lock at all costs’? F**k that. Bleed the f**kers dry. I need to live.”
