BRITISH horse racing is staging a one-day strike, leaving millions of gamblers with no option but to find new wagers. What are you losing a grand on today? 

Steve Malley, lathe operator: “The f**king dogs. Disgusting. I’ve gambled so much my wife and kids left me and I live in a men’s hostel but this is the lowest I’ve ever sunk.”

Norman Steele, gardener: “Bamboozled by the loss of the 3.30pm from Uttoxeter, out of options, I found myself putting £200 on the sun not setting this evening. Good odds, but it’s a bet I fear I’ll lose.”

Margaret Gerving, retired: “Are we going after the striking trainers, jockeys and trackside bookmakers for being a load of overpaid lefty bastards, or is that just tube drivers?”

Helen Archer, civil servant: “I’ve bet £50 this strike will achieve nothing and Reeves will still tax gambling because she’s desperate for cash. Is it a problem that I work in the Treasury? Not for me.”

Jim Bates, online trader: “Insult to injury, what’s ahead of me in the queue at the Post Office? A f**king racehorse. Says it’s his day off and he can do what he f**king likes.”