FORMER prime minister David Cameron is back in Downing Street to provide wise counsel on how to f**k a country beyond repair.
David Cameron has been given a well-deserved seat in the Lords so he can serve as foreign secretary and chief consultant on getting every single major decision entirely wrong.
He said: “You can’t beat hands-on experience when it comes to bollocksing up a once-successful nation. And I have that in spades.
“Remember when I took over, and you thought things were already bad? And I made them incalculably worse? Just imagine what I can do with this mess.
“I was the obvious choice for foreign secretary, given my track record of causing every country within a thousand miles to loathe us even more than they already did. Looking forward to meeting all those EU guys again.
“But more than that I’m the guy who brought you austerity, who delivered Brexit, who shafted the economy and walked off whistling. A return in government is well overdue, according to my lobbyist pals.
“I’m going to really screw things up for Labour. Finishing the job.”