ANGELA Rayner has been spotted wheeling in wide circles in the sky over wherever Keir Starmer is standing.
As Keir Starmer drags his weary carcass to an expected evisceration by the parliamentary Labour party this evening, former deputy prime minister Angela Rayner has been seen high in the sky, riding updrafts, waiting to strike.
Onlooker Martin Bishop said: “See how her dry tongue flicks out to lick her beak in anticipation of the kill? It’s terrifying, but also kind of beautiful.
“She’s clearly caught his decaying scent on the wind, but her blood lust has spiked after a recent scuffle delivered a near-fatal blow. I bet she can’t wait to tear the tender carrion from his bones.
“Notice how she hangs there, her ragged wings practically motionless. She’s probably conserving her energy in case she has to fend off another predator who’s also tracking him, ready to feast upon his corpse.
“While impressive, it’s hard to watch. Your instinct is to step in and save the poor, defenceless prey. Sadly, like David Attenborough, you cannot intervene. You have to let nature take its grimly inevitable course.”
Rayner said: “Ah, the internal politics of the Labour party. Red in tooth, claw and ideology.”
