AS Westminster is abuzz with speculation about who will run Downing Street now, Britain asks: whoever it is, can he get me a f**king hospital appointment?
The departure of Morgan McSweeney and director of communication Tim Allen leaves Starmer with a clean slate and, according to Britain, an opportunity to shut up about bullshit and chuck local councils some bloody funding for a change.
Tom Logan of Macclesfield said: “All this Whitehall intrigue has me asking one question: could everything involved with government stop costing loads while being shite?
“Because I give as much of a bugger about backroom staff as I do about boardroom shake-ups at Tesco, but unlike with supermarkets I live in Britain so cannot vote with my feet by going somewhere else.
“Could we get the roads workable? The trains cheaper? The water companies to take the piss less blatantly? Have GPs thought about allowing us to schedule appointments online like literally every other twat? Priorities, lads.”
Donna Sheridan of Goole agreed: “Apparently this government has done some great things I haven’t heard about. I assure you if they’d been that great, I’d have noticed.
“How about instead of an overpaid Downing Street bellend, we spend the money on letting schools have playing fields and swimming lessons again? Any f**king chance?”
A spokesman for the prime minister said: “We hear you, we get it and we’re combing top London consultancies to pay the right privately-educated man in a suit a six-figure salary.”
