THE Chinese spy scandal has dominated headlines all week, and in an unguarded moment you may have picked up a few details about it. What is it about?
Julian Cook, property developer: “China paid good money to be told that Jeremy Hunt would pull out of the 2022 Tory leadership race when actually he was eliminated in the first ballot. I know I’d want a f**king refund.”
Lucy Parry, runner: “I imagine they’re trying to clone our world-conquering original TV formats. The next Traitors, Taskmaster or Strictly could be worth billions to them.”
Norman Steele, football agent: “Since that other scandal was about Keir Starmer’s chicken korma, this one must be about him having a beef chow mein.”
Susan Traherne, biochemist: “Have they found out there’s not as many of us as there is of them?”
Nathan Muir, bookbinder: “Ultimately, if it’s a way for me to get the information I find Chinese women very attractive and am a single homeowner with a clean driving licence out there, it’s done some good. Also Korean.”
