THE UK has admitted they are perfectly aware Starmer will survive his current scandal, but they love seeing the rising panic on his bewildered face.
A moment’s study of what it takes to bring down a prime minister, and painful memories of the agonisingly drawn-out departure of Theresa May, means Britain knows full well this is not the end but enjoys the thought nonetheless.
Nathan Muir of Hitchin said: “Look at the bastard squirm. That’s brightened my week.
“If he resigned? With no clear successor after two years trying to rebuild our reputation as a stable country that does sane things rather than a sackful of rabid ferrets? Rationally it wouldn’t be great, but this bit’s magic.
“He’ll hardly have slept last night, bowels of pure liquid, and every newspaper headline’s making his heart pound. ‘Even the bloody Guardian?’ he’s saying in shattered disbelief.
“That’s the way we like our politicians. On the run. Terrified it’s all going to come crashing down. Desperate to please. Afraid to even appoint an ambassador to Nauru in case it f**ks up.
“We hate you, you’re a wanker and one day it really will be the end, Starmer. Days like this ensure you don’t forget it.”
