REFORM have announced that Labour may still be an issue, but they have definitely shafted the Conservative party.
Victories in mayoral elections, council elections and a by-election means Reform have replaced the Tories as the bastard’s choice while still needing to make gains among those not eaten up with hate.
Leader Nigel Farage said: “We’re number one with anyone who stands by their front window glaring at anyone who dares to think about turning in their drive. That’s step one.
“The Tories can’t come back from this. Their centuries representing the mean, bitter man-in-the-shithole-town are over. They may flail and try to bring back National Service, hanging and good old traditional bear-baiting, but we’re now the party of all those things.
“However, our narrow six-vote win in Runcorn and Helsby shows we’ve still got ground to make up among normal people who still harbour hope for the future, the idealistic pricks.
“This could be a tough nut to crack. We’ve got to reach out to them by appearing halfway normal while not alienating our core voters demanding ever more imaginatively vicious solutions to the migrant problem. Still, Thatcher did it.”
Kemi Badenoch said: “This is hardly fair when I’m nothing but a block carved from pure, unadulterated loathing. I wish I could vote Reform.”
