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WAKING with a head that feels somewhat like it has been stuffed forcibly with the corpse of Larry the Downing Street cat, I find myself harking back to my younger days.

NEW This Morning hosts? One old and objectionable, the other young and blonde with a brilliant smile? I know just the couple.

HIP HOP star Drake, fresh from releasing new album For All The Dogs, has announced he is quitting music to spend 12 months in Center Parcs Sherwood Forest.

THE Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was an unparalleled gaming masterpiece never to be repeated, until the sequel. In retrospect was it actually shit?

FLORENCE Nightingale is one of the most famous figures in medical history, known by many as a pioneer of medical practice, and to others as ‘her with the lamp’.

You start to give a blowjob with a penny in your mouth then realise wait, that’s breathalysers.

WAKING in Manchester with my mouth dry and my hands conspiciously bloodied, I recall with a smile the fretful events that lead me here.

‘I WILL never recover from this humiliation,’ Akshata says. ‘Ordering me – me! – onto the stage in front of your tawdry pensioners to praise you.’

I FUCKING hate cats. Haughty bastards that sleep where you want to sit or rimming their own arseholes. On a scale of pointless animals they're one step down from wasps.

The self-appointed capital of west Yorkshire, the first city to get a Harvey Nichols outside London, Leeds has always been rather up itself.