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Your astrological week ahead for June 22nd, with Psychic Bob

You know who should have done an Eras tour? Motörhead.

The Archbishop of Canterbury on... a Glastonbury line-up who should be playing Butlin's

WAKING with a hangover that would doubtless make a Geiger counter explode if it attempted to measure it, I reflect on what drove me to my present condition. The answer? Ed Davey.

We're all doomed. Our way of life cannot withstand Starmer's rampant supermajority

WE tend not to brag about majorities, in this country. As Blair proved, it’s vulgar. Boris’s was only described as ‘stonking’ in sly tribute to his sexual charisma.

'I come from the time before streaming': can millennial and Gen Z span the generation gap in Mash Blind Date?

THOM’S a millennial. His date Olly is the even more annoying Generation Z. But can they overcome their natural distrust and forge a union?

Your astrological week ahead for June 15th, with Psychic Bob

“Billy Zane is not my girl, no, he’s a guy who used to date Kelly Brook. My God her acting sucked.”

The Archbishop of Canterbury on... Sunak's heartbreaking tale of growing up without QVC

WAKING with a hangover so thumping I expect a gorilla’s fist to come bursting out of my cranium at any moment, I reflect on the meeting with Sir Keir Starmer that led me to drink.

Artisan bollocks and wall-to-wall f**king fudge: The gammon food critic visits a food festival

FOOD is fuel, and anyone who talks pretentious bollocks about it is a con artist. ‘The sea bass goujons are sublime.’ Piss off. They’re just up-themselves fish fingers.

'What if we cut public services even more? Is that what you want?' plead desperate Tories

THE Conservatives have admitted they do not know how they will manage it but if it is what the public wants, they will cut public services even more.

Is he your soulmate or should you sleep with another five, ten, maybe 15 people to be sure? asks the Mash sex columnist

PROVING definitively you’re with the one is tricky. Yes you’re unreservedly committed, but what if your soulmate is the man in tight shorts on the train, or Miley Cyrus? Here’s how to be sure you’ve got it right.

Your astrological week ahead for June 8th, with Psychic Bob

You’re glad Jack Grealish has been dropped from the England squad. You couldn’t have enjoyed the games while gazing at and envying his lovely, lovely hair.