Allardyce bemoans the quality of chips in Slovakia

SAM Allardyce has complained to the FA about the lack of chip barms in Slovakia.

Despite winning in the final seconds with an Adam Lallana goal, described as a rarer sight than a successful Jordan Henderson pass, the England manager fears for the catering standards for the rest of the qualifying campaign.

Allardyce said: “We’ll be fine at Wembley because I can bring my air fryer and a bag of frozen McCain’s from home, but I went on holiday to Malta back in 1982 and the grub was rotten.

“I ended up getting kicked out of the hotel for barricading myself in the kitchen and making boiled egg sandwiches. I doubt I’ll be able to do that this time.”

He added: “The only decent trip we’ll have this campaign is to Scotland. There’s a country that has the proper respect for a deep fat fryer.”

The Daily Mash in your inbox
privacy

Pert skimpy assets derriere beach fun

PERKY posterior beach body confidence ample cleavage, it has emerged.

Tanned tummy, taut curves tiny two piece revealing ensemble. Plenty of flesh, sandy fun.

Defying critics and packing on PDA.

An onlooker said: “Minimal make-up, sculpted. Pretty features long legs.

“Looked to be having the time of their life. Happy spirits slender physique carefree, the perfect match.

“Loving it.”

However cleavage bronzed gym-honed, hot and heavy.

The onlooker added: “Wet and wild, new series of The Bachelor. Wardrobe malfunction not afraid to use her body.

“Added fuel to rumours of romance, beach party flaunted exclusive celebrity island, blasted around on jet ski. Cocktails American rapper, can’t keep his hands off. Look away now Chloe!

“Complicated love life. Derriere? Divorce nervous breakdown.”