Chelsea somehow the underdogs against Burnley

JOSE Mourinho’s Chelsea will be the plucky minnows when they visit newly promoted Burnley.

In the latest of his famous mind games, Chelsea boss Mourinho has pulled off a significant tactical coup by securing the status of gutsy underdogs despite being amongst the title favourites.

Chelsea fan Stephen Malley said: “It’s a real David versus Goliath encounter.

“But isn’t that the beauty of football that on their day 11 multi-millionaire superstars can beat a team of stalwarts called things like Michael Duff?

“I just hope our lads don’t get too overawed, I know Cesc Fabregas has spoken of it being an honour to visit Turf Moor.”

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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
The longest journey starts with a single step. And the shortest one. All the other ones, too. Not sure where I’m going with this. 

Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Today, you rub some cavity-reducing toothpaste on a book of TS Eliot poems and now there’s a cat in it called Ma.

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
On Friday you end up pulling a Buzzfeed headline writer. What happens next will blow your mind. And require a course of antibiotics.

Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
You local book shop has a special offer on The Life Of Pi – 22 for the price of 7.

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
This weekend, your promise at the start of the year to pledge £1 to charity every time Russell Brand uses the word ‘narrative’ in a think piece sees you having to sell your car.

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
Your current health fad of drinking coconut water doesn’t really count if it’s Malibu, no.

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
At your last visit to the swimming pool you managed thirty lengths, which left you too exhausted to go for a swim.

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
“I believe in miracles since you came along, you sexy thing.” I prefer to be called ‘Jesus’, actually.

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Your boss is very understanding and supportive and on Monday will suggest you recalibrate your work/life balance to somewhere in the region of 0%/100%

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
It’s time to stop lying to yourself. Especially when lying to other people is so much more profitable.

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
Gemini is the sun sign of duality – light and shade, optimism and pessimism and in your case, vodka and coke.

Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
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