I CANNOT thank the British public enough for their interest in my 100th birthday. To repay them, I shall host a special show about the incredible species I turned into souvenirs:
A red panda hot water bottle cover
For one of my earliest documentaries for the BBC, back in 1954, I was lucky enough to film a reclusive red panda which I shot and had turned into a novelty bedroom accessory. They’re one of the world’s most endangered species, so it really was a most fortuitous find.
A gorilla’s head ashtray
My time with mountain gorillas is perhaps the most famous moment of my career. As ever, I had my trusty hunting knife with me, so after befriending an adult male I decapitated the majestic beast. Now ‘Smokey’, as I christened him, takes pride of place in the spare room, reminding me of our noble great ape ancestors as I flick fag ash into his mouth.
An emperor penguin biscuit jar
Who can forget the landmark series Frozen Planet? Not me, thanks to this wonderful biscuit jar in the kitchen, whose head is removed to access the biscuits most wittily. I actually had around 30 of these made for family and friends. The beak opens bottles.
An elephant’s foot salad bowl
An elephant’s foot umbrella stand was too reminiscent of Britain’s morally questionable colonial past, so when I filmed Indian elephants in 1975 I opted to turn one into a dignified salad bowl. It took me forever to get the foot off with a hacksaw and by God the fuss it made, but worth it.
A stegosaurus urinal
While making Prehistoric Planet, we visited a dinosaur museum in Nevada and I cheekily stole a stegosaurus skull. A few alterations by a local plumber later and it became a urinal in my Richmond home. I never cease to be awestruck by the thought that I am pissing back millions of years into the Jurassic period.
A lion’s head door knocker
Bagging a Kenyan lion in 1993 with an AK-47 borrowed from a poacher was one of the high points of my career. Back in England its head became an oversized door knocker far more impressive than any wrought iron one. The king of the jungle may be dead, but he lives on as king of my envious neighbours.
A blue whale bouncy castle
At 25 metres long, this leviathan of the oceans makes an awe-inspiring garden inflatable. I’m a little too old for such antics, but when I see my great-grandchildren joyfully bouncing on its head I take pride in knowing I’ve shared my love of nature with future generations.
