Lifestyle

WOMEN have confirmed that having a complete stranger shove their fingernails into various different boxes and layer paste on them is the highest form of relaxation.

COME in! Obviously I’d prefer to give you ‘the house tour’, but that’s not an option, so let’s pretend my cramped studio flat above a kebab shop is a liveable dwelling.

SPENT your two precious days off doing bugger all but watching telly and wanking again?  Fool friends and colleagues into believing you have an enviable social life.

A 24-HOUR garage in suburban Bristol survives entirely on the custom of drug-addled locals buying late night snacks, it has emerged.

THE millennial generation will not have the savings to waste on a ludicrous midlife crisis like their parents did, experts have warned.

A 30-SOMETHING woman’s parents have requested a quick update on the situation with regards to her giving them grandchildren.

FIGHTING aging isn’t all dye and face serums. It’s also sitting through Sam Smith’s new video without provoking the reaction teenagers online are waiting for.

A MILLENNIAL woman is under the impression that going on holiday is an achievement she ought to be congratulated for.

SUNDAY mornings are the one time of the week you're allowed to be lazy. Ruin this oasis of free time by following this dreary itinerary.

ARE you comfortably retired? Nothing much to worry about? Here Lynne and Norman Steele give their tips on sitting in front of the TV being perpetually f**ked-off.