A WOMAN has been left stunned after a man she had decided was ‘probably good enough’ unexpectedly rejected her advances.
Lauren Hewitt, 36, had spent several months lowering her standards before making a move on Josh Hudson, 38, who then completely failed to appreciate the effort she had made on his behalf.
Hewitt said: “Read the room, fatso. I wasn’t flirting because I’d suddenly developed a thing for receding men with a collection of anoraks and the posture of a question mark. I was doing you a f**king favour.
“I’m worn out by the mental gymnastics I’ve been through to consider you as an option. Telling friends you were ‘lovely once you get to know him’. Focusing on your positives like having a job, owning a dishwasher, not being too boring. I was stacking the deck so you’d win and you don’t even want the prize.
“You’re supposed to feel grateful and in return I know you won’t – can’t – cheat. But you’re behaving like a much hotter man, saying you like me but aren’t sure of a romantic spark. Don’t you realise I’ve spent weeks gaslighting myself into thinking you’re f**kable?
“Settling isn’t easy. The least you can do is be grateful while I try not to say out loud how much better I could be doing. I’m offering you your sole opportunity to breed here, mate.”
Shortly afterwards Hewitt added: “Actually, wait. Do you think you turned me down because you felt intimidated that I’m too pretty for you?”
