Woman copying everything her crush does realises he's a wanker

A WOMAN aiming to impress a crush by mimicking his behaviour has been dismayed to discover he is a massive arsehole.

Dad trapped in phone conversation with daughter for four and a half hellish minutes

A FATHER has been caught up in a nightmarish telephone conversation with his daughter lasting almost five minutes.

Seven bullshit reasons for infidelity that sound surprisingly good out loud

THE worst thing about cheating on your long-term partner is the fuss it causes, but it gives you the chance to breathe new life into these classic lines.

Mum calling her dog your brother

YOUR mother is calling her dog your brother, she has confirmed.

Woman spends days analysing texts of obvious f**kwit

A WOMAN has spent five days minutely analysing text messages from an indisputable moron that she fancies.

Woman who forgot boyfriend's birthday hastily arranging threesome

A WOMAN who completely forgot her boyfriend is 27 today is frantically swiping her phone to arrange a surprise threesome.

Your invaluable guide to whether someone is out of your league

TRYING to pull someone out of your league leads to humiliation and heartbreak, but aiming too low makes you feel cheated. Here’s how to tell if a shag with a hot person is realistic.

The top five TV shows to leave on in the background while having sex

UNSURE what to watch while you’re having sex? Here are five shows that are easy to dip in and out of, so to speak, during lovemaking.

Girlfriend already knows what she'll say about partner's sexual performance when they split up

A GIRLFRIEND has a clear outline of what she will say about her boyfriend’s lovemaking skills when the relationship ends. 

Why you should never ask your boyfriend who he's wanked over

EVERYONE wonders. But actually finding out your boyfriend has a very specific fantasy involving Emily Atack and a pair of Marigolds is never, ever worth finding out.