Relationships

Mens' level of planning for dates directly proportionate to length of dry spell

THE effort and thoughtfulness a man puts into a date is directly proportionate to how long it is since he he last had sex, researchers have discovered.

At the bus stop, at work, and other places women aren't interested in being chatted up

WOULD you like to express your sexual interest in a woman? Try these six locations where she definitely will not want to hear about it.

Adults close to their siblings are faking it, say experts

ADULT siblings who claim to like each other are lying about it, new research has shown.

Why 26 is the ideal age to lose your virginity, by a concerned mum

IT’S best not to have sex until you’ve graduated, got a job and bought a house, explains mum Helen Archer, who only has daughter Emily’s best interests in mind, obviously.

'Watch out!' and other things not to shout at the moment of orgasm

IT can be hard to control yourself at the height of sexual passion, but it’s worth thinking before opening your mouth, if you’ve got time. Do not shout any of the following.

Man annoyed his wanking considered less sexy than his wife's

A MAN has expressed his irritation that his wife’s masturbation is considered erotic, whereas his is not. 

Woman refers to boring, unlikable twat husband as her 'Prince Charming'

A WOMAN who refers to her deeply tedious husband as her ‘Prince Charming’ has very strange standards, her family and friends have concluded.

Man concerned about penis size forgets to worry about entire personality

A MAN who fears he has a small penis should be more concerned about how much of a twat he is, his friends believe.

Man dumps girlfriend after catching her checking out baby

A MAN has ended his relationship after seeing his girlfriend of nine months openly admiring a baby.

Man horny to shoot down date's lists of top five films, albums and TV shows

A MAN is looking to date women who propose lists of their favourite things so he can laugh derisively and force-feed them his own preferences instead.