Man dumps girlfriend after catching her checking out baby

A MAN has ended his relationship after seeing his girlfriend of nine months openly admiring a baby.

Man horny to shoot down date's lists of top five films, albums and TV shows

A MAN is looking to date women who propose lists of their favourite things so he can laugh derisively and force-feed them his own preferences instead.

Six sexual positions for when it's f**king boiling

HORNY but unable to bear the red-hot sticky clutches of your partner? Try these low-contact sexual positions.

'Wanking's a great healer': Actually useful post-break-up advice

MOST break-up advice is meaningless waffle. This is the self-love guidance you should be listening to if you want to fix your broken heart.

How to improve your sex life by comparing it to medieval times

IS your sex life dull or non-existent? There’s not much you can do about that, but you’ll feel immeasurably better by comparing it to the Middle Ages. Consider these things.

Trains, smoking areas, and other liminal places where you glimpse the love of your life you'll never see again

YOUR beautiful one true love has a habit of turning up in certain places then disappearing from your life forever. Here's where to feel heartbroken over what could have been.

Couples who've been together since they were 14, and other questionable relationships

DO you know a couple who've been together so long they might as well be siblings? Here are some other relationships that are a bit odd.

Woman goes back to date's place because he has a working printer

A WOMAN accepted an invitation to go back to a date’s flat for sex due to him owning a functioning printer.

Newly single friend available to hang out any time, she announces

A NEWLY single woman has texted all her friends to announced she is available to hang out any time.

'My other half' and other f**king dreadful ways to describe your partner

IS 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend' too vanilla for your partner? Does your one-of-a-kind love warrant a more stupendous, sickening title?