Relationships

GIRLFRIENDS often have an interest in some form of spirituality, which is confusing to boyfriends blinded by rationalism. Here are some of their typical belief systems.

A MAN has confirmed his sudden, mid-lovemaking enthusiasm for cunnilingus is in no way related to the impotence he is currently experiencing.

A MAN offered the opportunity to decide what TV show to watch is unaware the outcome has already been decided.

A COUPLE have created their own version of date night where they do not go out in favour of drinking alcohol then having sex.

IS the former love of your life deliriously happy with someone new? Can only you, because you’re objective, see through the deceit and sickening lies?

HITTING the job market and, now infidelity’s no longer scandalous, the dating market as well? Tinder doesn’t need to know about your most recent period of employment.

A LONG-TERM on-off couple have confirmed their intermittent relationship is not born of tempestuous love but an inability to find anyone better.

ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling? Chauvinist and self-appointed ‘God's gift to women’ Wayne Hayes explains.

A WOMAN is telling an anecdote which appears, to all listeners if not to the speaker, to be about what an arsehole she is.

ROMANTIC beach walks are the ideal date, unless the beach in question is South Shields. These activities lose their Instagram sheen the moment you step on broken glass.